Q. What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A. Frosted Flakes.
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Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor.
"Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant."
The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?"
She says, "Because it's started missing its period."
Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy.
The brunette replied, "I think I'll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?"
The blonde said, "I think I'm gonna buy a new butt, because my old one has an enormous crack in it."
Q: What do bleached blondes and airplanes both have in common?
A: They both have a black box.
A blonde in a bar is hunched over her martini spearing at the olive with a cocktail stick.
A dozen times the olive eludes her until a man sitting next to her grabs the stick and skewers it for her.
‘That’s the way to do it,’ he says.
‘Big deal,’ replies the blonde.
‘You’d never have got it unless I’d tired it out first.’
Two blondes were shopping at the mall.
When they were done, they went out to their car, an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car.
So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while.
Then one of the girls had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock.
The other blonde looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded, "Hurry, hurry! It's going to rain and we left the top down!"
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all enter a swim meet.
The gun goes off, and the brunette quickly captures first, with the redhead coming in second.
An hour later, the blonde emerges from the pool and complains to the judges that while she was doing the breast stroke, the others were using their arms.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas.
With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting:
"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.
What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?
It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells,
"You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little idiot on your knee!"