Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around!
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A road construction manager needed to hire someone to paint the yellow lines down the middle of a newly constructed road.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all get hired.
They are each assigned a section of the road.
The first day, the blonde paints 2 miles, the redhead 1.5, and the brunette only 1.
On the second day, the blonde paints 1 mile, the brunette 2, and the redheaed 2.5.
On the third day, the blonde only gets 1/4 of a mile done, the redheaed 3, and the brunette 3.5.
The manager decides to talk to the blonde.
"You haven't been painting as much road as you did on the first day," the manager said.
"What's the problem?"
"I'd be painting more, but the bucket keeps getting farther and farther away!"
Q: Why do blondes have "TGIF" on their shoes?
A: "Toes go in first."
Q: What do you call a blonde sitting in the back of your 6th grade class?
A: your 25 year old mom.
"Have you heard my knock-knock joke?" asked the blonde.
"No," said the brunette.
"Okay," said the blonde, "you start."
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A blonde walks into a electronic store and asks the manager, “Can I buy that TV”
“No”
“Why not?”
“Because your a blonde.”
So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair red.
She returned to the electronic store and said, “Can I buy that TV?”
“No”
“Why not?”
“Your a blonde.”
So the blonde goes and shaves her hair off and returns to the electronic store and says, “Can I buy that TV?”
“No”
“Why not?”
“You’re a blonde”
“How can you tell I’m a blonde, I dyed my hair red, then shaved it off!”
“Because that’s not a TV, that’s a microwave!”
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Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A1. "What's a light bulb?"
A2. One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3. Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
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A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license.
She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated."
What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
"Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go.
I didn't realize you were a cop."
How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college?
A: "Would you like fries with that?"
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