How does a blond spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Q: What do Barbie and Paris Hilton have in common? A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.
Q: How did the blonde kill her toy poodle? A: Trying to put batteries in it.
Two blondes drive through the middle of Kansas, surrounded entirely by wheat fields. One blonde says, "Look over there!" They see another blonde in scuba gear acting like she's swimming through the wheat. The blonde driving says, "It's girls like that who give us blondes a bad name." The other blonde says, "Yeah! And if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and tell her off."
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are all on a building about to jump off. They all jump at the same time. Which one landed last? The blonde because she asked for directions.
A small company recently hired a new blonde secretary who certainly wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. One day while she was typing, she turned to another secretary and said, “What do I do now? I’m almost out of typing paper.” “Just use the copier machine paper,” replied the other secretary. With that, the blonde took her last remaining blank sheet of typing paper, placed it on the photocopier and proceeded to make ten blank copies.
How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool
A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!
There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York there is a magical mirror If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you a wish If you lie – poof it swallows you up. A brunette, a blonde and a redhead walk into this bar. They head straight for the mirror. The redhead goes first and says “I think I’m the most beautiful woman on Earth” Poof- the mirror swallows her up. The brunette goes up to the mirror and says “I think I’m the sexiest woman on Earth” Poof – the mirror swallows her up. Last, the blonde goes up to the mirror says ” I think...” Poof!
Mike: "Hey Joe. My girl friend always gets offended whenever I tell her jokes about bald people." Joe: "Is your girl friend bald?" Mike: "No. She"s a blonde."
How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer? There’s whiteout on the screen. How can you tell if two blondes have been using the computer? There’s writing on the whiteout.