Joke #2314

What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit? A rubbit!
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A Shark alarm at Sydney’s Bondi Beach sent everyone rushing from the water –except for three young boys who didn’'t hear the siren. Onlookers were horrified to see a dorsel fin moving fast towards them. Suddenly, a tall bloke took a deep breath, dived into the surf, swam past the shark, and scooped up two of the boys, swiftly bringing them to the shore and safety. He then took another deep breath and swam out again, snatching the third boy before rapidly approaching, before the monster could attack. Then got him back to the beach in one piece. The heroic bloke then put a knife between his clenched teeth, swam out to the shark, and killed it in a furious battle. As he staggered out from the surf, bleeding and battered, a journalist raced up to him and said, “That was the most heroic thing I’'ve ever witnessed mate. This will appear on the front page of tomorrow’s newspaper: “Aussie hero saves three boys from killer shark!” “Thanks.” Smiles the fella, “but I'’m not an Aussie. I'’m a British backpacker.” “No worries,” said the journalist with a frown, “it'’ll still be front-page news.” The next day, the newspaper’s headline screamed, “Pommy bastard kills boy'’s pet fish!”
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Why are rabbits never gold? How would you tell them apart from goldfish?
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends? A: He plays with Pooh.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
A little girl asks her Mom, "May I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom says, "No honey, the dog is in heat." "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your Father. I think he's in the garage". The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom but she said the dog was in heat and said I should ask you". Her Dad said, "Bring Susie over here". He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear end with it and said, "Ok, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block". The little girl leaves and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Her Dad asks, "Where's Susie?" The girl replies, "Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block -and there's another dog pushing her home!
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has 70.78 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
Why do lions always eat raw meat? "Because they don't know how to cook."
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has 32.63 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road? A: To get hit by my car.
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has 22.36 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, fat
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
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has 40.39 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, little Johnny
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal