What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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What kind of bees make milk instead of honey?
Boobies.
What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A zebra with a drum kit.
Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll.
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes?
In a pellet court!
Tom was walking down the street when he sees a funeral procession.
At the head was the casket, behind was a man walking a very large dog and behind him were 300 people.
Tom walks over to the guy with the dog and asks who’s funeral is this?
The man answers, “My mother-in-law’s.”
Tom wishes his condolences and asks, “She must of been a very important person, but what’s with the dog?”
He answers, “This is the dog that killed her!”
So Tom asks, “can I borrow the dog for an hour?”
He responds, “Get on line!”
Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
Why did the frog cross the street?
Because the chicken crossed the road.
Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a pig ran in front of the car.
The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t.
The pig was killed.
The President told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened.
About an hour later the driver staggers back to the car with his clothes in total disarray.
He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily.
“What happened?” asked the President.
“Well,” the driver replied “the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me.”
“My God, what did you tell them?” asked the President.
The driver replied: “I’m Bill Clinton’s driver, and I just killed the pig.”
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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