What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!
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First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like?
Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court.
"Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me."
"I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch.
"Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" a jogger asks.
The old man looks over his newspaper and replies, "Nope."
As soon as the jogger enters the yard, the dog begins snarling and growling, and then attacks the jogger's legs.
As the jogger flails around in the yard, he yells, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!"
The old man mutters, "Ain't my dog."
How do you hire a horse?
Put a brick under each hoof!
Someone figured out my password.
Now I have to rename my dog.
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm.
He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'."
His wife says, "That's a duck."
He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
What did one dairy cow say to another?
Got milk?
Why did the frog go to the mall?
Because he wanted to go hopping.