Joke #2314

What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit? A rubbit!
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
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How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk? A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.
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A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, sex
Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice? He was a sherbet!
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch? (Because he was stuffed!)
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon? A: A sheep.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, elephant
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine." So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd like a mild heart attack."
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has 55.48 % from 384 votes. More jokes about: animal, golf, husband, money, sex
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes? In a pellet court!
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
A guy walks into a quiet bar carrying three ducks-one in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar, has a few drinks, and chats with the bartender. The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. He and the guy chat for about 30 minutes before the guy has to go to the restroom. Now, the bartender is alone with the ducks. After an awkward silence, he decides to try to make conversation. "What's your name?" he says to one of the ducks. "Huey," answers the first duck. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day." "Oh, that's nice," says the bartender. Then he says to the second duck, "And what's your name?". "Dewey," comes the answer. "So how's your day been, Dewey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance, I would do it all again." So the bartender turns to the third duck and says, "So, you must be Louie." "No," growls the third duck, "My name is Puddles. And don't ask about my day."
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has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, duck