What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!
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Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh.
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Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his four-year-old son standing at the fence with wide eyes, taking in the whole event.
The man thought to himself, "Great, he's four years old and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees now. No need to jump the gun. I guess I'll let him ask and then I'll answer."
After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said,
"Well son, do you have any questions?"
"Just one," gasped the wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog?
A tourist.
I had to go round next door and look after my neighbour’s cat while he was away.
Now there’s a great pile of crap and a puddle of wee on his kitchen floor.
Hopefully, he’ll think the cat did it.
What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milkshake.
Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A: A shadow.
So...I had this rabbit that died of heatstroke after a week and I didn't have a time to name it.
So after it died and was on my lap the name came to me...I'll call it floppy!
How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?
They take a gallop poll!
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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