Q. Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A. Because everybody gets a turn.
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A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears.
The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?"
The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.
Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?"
"The sucker called again!"
What do blondes put behind their ears to attract men?
Their knees.
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.
Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."
Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a cell phone?"
Blonde: "They're too expensive, so I did the next best thing: I put a mailbox in my car."
Psychiatrist: "And do you receive any letters?"
Blonde: "No, but I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."
Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
Q: Why was the blonde late for work?
A: She was stranded on the broken escalator.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all enter a swim meet.
The gun goes off, and the brunette quickly captures first, with the redhead coming in second.
An hour later, the blonde emerges from the pool and complains to the judges that while she was doing the breast stroke, the others were using their arms.
A blonde walked into her final exam very nervous.
But when she received the test, she was relieved to find out that it was a True or False exam.
Immediately, she reached into her purse and pulled out a coin.
Each time she flipped the coin she would write down an answer. "What are you doing?" the professor asked her.
"I'm figuring out the answers," the blonde replied.
To this, the professor just rolled his eyes and looked away.
When she was done, the professor announced that there were five minutes left to go.
"Oh my god!" she said in an excited voice, and started to flip the coin as fast as possible.
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.