Q. Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A. Because everybody gets a turn.
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Q: Two blondes are standing on top of the Empire State Building.
How can you tell which one is the true blonde and which one is the bleached blonde?
A: The bleached blonde isn't throwing bread crumbs at the helicopters!
What are the six worst years in a blonde’s life?
Third grade.
Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks.
She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions.
"Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher.
"Nope. I haven't," said the dumb jock.
"Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."
Why does a blonde put perfume on her ankles?
Because it ends up behind her ears anyway!
What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant?
I hope it's not mine.
Q. Why was the blonde in the tree?
A. Because she was raking up the leaves!
Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting.
One looked at the other and said, “I’ve got to take a crap.”
The other said, “Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap.”
The first one said, “But I don’t have any paper to wipe my ass.”
The other blonde replied, “You have a dollar, don’t you?”
The first one said, “Yeah, I’ve got a dollar. That’s a great idea– I’ll use that!”
He left and came back with crap all over his hands and clothes.
His friend looked at him and asked, “What in the hell happened to you?”
The first one replied, “Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?”
A blonde was trapped on an island and had to swim 1000 miles to get back to the mainland.
She swam 500 miles and got tired, so swam back to the island.