Joke #4296

How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she’s pregnant.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island. The redhead swims half way and drowns. The brunette swims half way and drowns too. The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.
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has 63.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: blonde, desert island, redneck, sport, stupid
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!" "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."
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has 33.74 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, wine
What’s it called when a blonde blows in another blonde’s ear? Data transfer.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde in a bar is hunched over her martini spearing at the olive with a cocktail stick. A dozen times the olive eludes her until a man sitting next to her grabs the stick and skewers it for her. ‘That’s the way to do it,’ he says. ‘Big deal,’ replies the blonde. ‘You’d never have got it unless I’d tired it out first.’
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Did you hear about the blonde who went to a library and checked out a book called How to Hug? She got it home and found it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia.
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has 13.56 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde
One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions. "Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher. "Nope. I haven't," said the dumb jock. "Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blond smokes in her yard. The garbage man asks her: Any garbage today? Yes, tree sacks please...
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has 12.66 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde had some goldfish and she did not know how to feed them. So she called her brunette friend, and she showed her how. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, "Now, what do I give them to drink?"
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has 79.48 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Did you hear about the blonde who was a really good cook? She could get pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece!
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food
Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist? A: Someone dented her car.
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, dentist, stupid