What's green green green green green? A frog rolling down a hill.
One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years later he heard knocking at the door again. He opened the door to see the snail. The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"
Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it.
What do you call an operation on a rabbit? A hare-cut.
When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture.
For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit. We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly." "How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
What's a rabbits favorite song? "Hoppy Birthday to You."
Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan? He got cut off without a scent.
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time.