What's green green green green green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
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Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet?
It lives on ice.
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
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A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog.
The frog says: "Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want."
The man says: "Ok, I will kiss you."
He kisses the frog, he has told her his wish but nothing has happened.
And the frog said: "Now you can see, such an old man and still believes in fairy tales."
"May I buy half a rabbit?"
"No, we don't split hares."
What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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That tornado damage your cow barn any?
Dunno.
Haven't found the durn thing yet.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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A dog goes to a telegraph office and dictates a message.
‘Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.’
The operator reads it back then says, ‘Y’ know, we charge per ten words.
You could have an extra ‘woof’ for free.’
‘No thanks,’ says the dog.