What's black and white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspaper.
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One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car.
He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour.
The chicken was still keeping up.
After about a mile of running the chicken ran up a farm lane and into a barn behind an old farm house.
The salesman had some time to kill so he turned around and drove up the farm lane.
He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen.
The farmer said that he was a geneticist and had developed this breed of chicken because he, his wife and his son each like a drumstick when they have chicken and this way they only have to kill one chicken.
"That"s the most fantastic thing I've ever heard," said the salesman.
"How do they taste?"
"I don't know," said the farmer.
"We've never caught one."
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat.
He says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please".
The barman says, "Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!"
The dog replies, "Why? Do they need electricians?"
Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food?
A:Because they can't catch it!
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?
For smoking in bed.
When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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