What's black and white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspaper.
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Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
It has 4 rabbits feet.
Man decides to buy a pet, but does not know what he wants as a pet, so he goes to the pet shop in search of a pet.
He sees cats in a cage dogs on another cage spiders, rabbits, frogs, birds, fish in aquariums and finally he sees a very colorful parrot in the corner of the store and he goes to the area where the parrot was and salesman asks him, "Are you interested in this parrot?"
The man says, "Does he talk?" the salesman says, "If you pull his left leg he will say the our father and if you pull his right leg, he will say the hailmary!"
The man says, "What will the parrot say if I pull both legs at the same time?"
The parrot says, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!"
What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner?
A charmer farmer.
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?
Horse: Sure!
Girl: What do you call it?
Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
Yo mama is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks.
She looked down, then got run over by the train!
Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?"
Patient: "I think I’m a chicken."
Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?"
Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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If you make a cow angry, how will she get even?
She'll cream you.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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