Joke #2298

What's black and white and green? A frog sitting on a newspaper.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Q: What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? A: ‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Bill O'Reilly and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country. O'Reilly tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer. They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside. He is gone for a long time. When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." "Why were they so grateful?" O'Reilly asks. The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. All I told him was that I was Bill O'Reilly's driver and I'd just killed the pig."
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has 71.36 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, food, military
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
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has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
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has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, math
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?" Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his. At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says: There were 24 pigs gentlemen! Twice as much than you!
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't. The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?" The dog answers "ROOF." The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying." The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else". The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time". The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door. As they bounce on the sidewalk the dog looks at his owner and says "DiMaggio?".
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, dog
What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long? A πthon.
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has 60.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris