What's black and white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspaper.
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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout?
A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
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“Mister, why doesn’t this cow have any horns?” asked the young lady from a nearby city.
The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, “Well, ma’am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep’em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young ‘uns by puttin’ a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops ‘em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns.But the reason this cow don’t have no horns, ma’am, is ’cause it’s a horse.”
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?"
Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
A snail and a slug got in a crash.
When the police, ambulances and news reporters arrived, a reporter asked a tortoise what happened.
He replied: "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?
He stank to the bottom of the pool.
What do you get from a short-legged cow?
Dragon milk.
Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn?
A: To buy some quack.
Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
A: De-calf-i-nated.
What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers?
Tyrannosaurus Hex.