Where do Danish cows come from?
Cowpenhagenf.
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What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes?
A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps.
Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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Why did the spider buy a car?
So he could take it out for a spin!
If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get?
"Beeflt!"
Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage.
Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry.
Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days.
Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below.
As they descend, they see a man walking his dog.
One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, "Where are we?"
The man yells back, "About a half mile from town."
Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the mist.
One flyer says to the other, "He must have been a lawyer."
The other says, "A lawyer! How do you know that?"
The first says, "That’s easy. The information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant."
This stupid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would blow up the toilet.
Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
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"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?"
"No."
"Did he hurt the cows?"
"No, he just grazed them."
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A.A dog is always happy to see you
B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.