Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf.
Baby Rabbit: "Mommy, where did I come from?" Mother Rabbit: "I ll tell you when you re older." Baby Rabbit: "Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now." Mother Rabbit: "If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat."
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off? I ll get you next slime.
A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch. "Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" a jogger asks. The old man looks over his newspaper and replies, "Nope." As soon as the jogger enters the yard, the dog begins snarling and growling, and then attacks the jogger's legs. As the jogger flails around in the yard, he yells, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" The old man mutters, "Ain't my dog."
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired? A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal.
Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? He was the last of his race!