Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf.
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
What's green and red? A very mad frog.
There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot? Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.
Q. What's green and red? A. A very mad frog.
How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Start off with a large fortune!
A man and his little boy were walking through the park when a honeybee landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. The father gave him a lecture about having respect for living things and added, "Just for that you can’t have any honey for two weeks!" Pretty soon a butterfly landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. Again, the father gave him a lecture and added, "Just for that you can’t have any butter for two weeks!" When they got home, they went into the kitchen, and a cockroach ran across the floor. The mother ran over and stomped on it. The boy said to his father, "Well do you want to tell her, or shall I?"