Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf.
Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet. That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost. Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?" "Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Sol. Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world? It has 4 rabbits feet.
What's green with bumps? A frog with the measles!
"Pa's being chased by a bull!" "Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?" "Get me some film for my camera."
Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.
Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? He always said "Neigh"