How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
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Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend?
A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
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Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk.
Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."
The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream!
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges?
He's the Easter Bungee.
What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?
Cold cream.
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhea.
A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy.
A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks.
He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
A: Because then the children have to play inside.