One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?
"Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
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The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the donkey.
"Your name is written inside the cover."
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing?
A: He only had two worms.
The Bible says I'll pay for my sins.
I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
Q: How many people can you fit in one Honda?
A: Well, the Bible said that all 12 disciples were in one Accord.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
Vote:
Look up "rib" in the dictionary and it says "To vex, irritate or annoy."
Look up "rib" in the Bible and it says "Woman."
Coincidence?
Vote:
A teacher asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favourite Bible stories.
She was puzzled by a boy's picture which showed four people on an aircraft, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
'The flight to Egypt,' he replied.
'I see...
And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,' she said.
'But who's the fourth person?'
'Oh, that's Pontius – the Pilot!'
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog?
A tourist.