One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the donkey. "Your name is written inside the cover."
Recently, I've been using the Bible for support. I've got a wobbly coffee table.
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? Unhoppy.
Why do police dogs lick their balls? To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat? He had to get a new goat.
“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me . . . they’re cramming for their final exam.”
Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry.
What book did the rabbit take on vacation? One with a hoppy ending.
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.