Joke #2376

Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten inch penis? A: "Partially disabled."

An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."

What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.

Silence is golden. Unless you have an infant. Then its probably blue.

Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!

What has 4 legs and one arm? A Doberman in a children’s playground!

Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?

Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen. Each day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third guy consistently sells two hundred. The other two guys are jealous, but they can't figure out his secret. Then, one day, they run into him at the mall, where he's set up a tobacco dip sample table. "This is your secret?" says the first guy. "Try some dip," says the third. They both take a little bit o' dip. "Ech!" says the second guy. "This tastes like s**t!" "It is s**t. Would you like to buy a toothbrush?"

You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish.

What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!