Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
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Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: What did the prick say to the balls?
A: You guys hang around here while I go inside!
I discovered that I'd spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store's "Feel the Comfort" sticker stuck to my body.
More humiliating?
It was attached to my left breast.
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
Once upon a time, there was a king who thought that his officers were going to try to have sex with his queen.
So he made all of his officers put on tight pants and told them that if anyone got a boner their head would be chopped off.
So he lined them up and the queen came to the first one and took off her gown.
He got a boner, so that was the end of him.
Then she came to the next one and took off her gown, he got a boner and that was the end of him.
This went on until she came to the last one and took off gown, then her underthings and he didn't get a boner.
So she took off his clothes and started rolling on the floor with him, half an hour went by, then an hour, finally after two hours the king came in to see what was happening and as soon as the king came in the guy got a boner.
Yo momma so fat when I crawl in her pussy I can't find my way out.
What does a white chick and a tampon have in common?
They're both stuck up cunts !
Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic?
Cause asshole is always in front of you.
Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.