Joke #2390

Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
Vote:
has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Little Johnny got caught stealing in a FOOD 4 LESS and runs away from the cops. He runs towards his school and into his classroom. He asks his teacher "May I please hide in your classroom because I got caught stealing". The teacher says "Yes". Little Johnny first hides under a desk, but no, the cops can see him there. He then hides behind the door, but no, the cops can see him there. So the teacher suggested to little Johnny "Hide under my long, fluffy skirt". Little Johnny says "O.K." The cops arrive and ask the teacher "Have you seen a little boy around here?". The teacher replies "sorry, I haven't". When the cops left the classroom the teacher says" Johnny, the cops are gone.you can come out now". Little johnny replies" not yet, I got one more braid to go".
Vote:
has 69.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I would kick you straight in the vagina... If I wasn't afraid of losing my shoe.
Vote:
has 67.68 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Man gives blood too save his wifes life. Few months later they are divorced. Husband says too wife, "I want my blood back you B*TCH!" Wife throws the tampon at him and says, "I will pay you back monthly you B*STARD."
Vote:
has 77.60 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
Vote:
has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, redneck, sex, stupid
Friend pisses me off so I poked holes in his condom the night before he uses it. Three months later... my mom's pregnant.
Vote:
has 72.16 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A kid walks by his parents having sex asks what's going on and his mother tells him, "We are making fishsticks". The next day the kid says, "Mom were you making fishsticks again?" And she says "Why, yes, how did you know, honey?" And the kid replies, "Well, you have a little tarter sauce on your mouth."
Vote:
has 81.60 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
Vote:
has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
Vote:
has 85.42 % from 2532 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, kids, money
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Vote:
has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, relationship, sex
This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any s*xual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his p*nis. "No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."
Vote:
has 65.56 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty