Joke #2390

Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.

One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost." God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest." The man replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"

Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"

When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.

What did the two tampons say to eachother? Nothing , because they were both stuck up bitches.

Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.

Knock,Knock, Who is there? Pen! Pen who? is...

Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic? Cause asshole is always in front of you.

"Does your ass have Allstate insurance?" "No, why?" "Well, do you want it to be in good hands?"

Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.

Three women were debating about how wide their pussy are. The first one said: "When my husband makes sex he puts his penis and his testicles in my pussy." The second lady said: "Wooo when we are in bed my husband puts his hand and his arm in mine." It was the turn of the third woman that pointed to her pussy and said: Jimy; Jimy come out, please."