How do lesbians handle their liquor? By the ears. (Lick her)
How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table has no balls.
Q: What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? A: Snap-on tools!
Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue? A: Well hung.
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
A guy picks up a pr*stitute and proceeds to spend a couple of hours with her at a seedy motel. A few days later, he finds that he has caught crabs. He chases down the prostitute and says, "hey bitch, you gave me crabs". She replies, "what'd you expect for ten bucks? Lobster?"
A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh.. well.. ah.. well, I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again." And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!" His mom says, "Why?" And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up."
Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time and is awfully nervous. When the doctor comes into the examining room, he notices immediately that she's very tense. "Listen, dear. I know this must be scary for you. Do you want me to give you some thing to numb you down there?" The girl doesn't say anything, but just nods her head yes. So the doctor removes her underwear, puts his mouth in her crotch. "Numb, numb, numb, numb, numb..."