Joke #5772

Whats the similarity between getting a bl*wjob from an 80 year old and walking the tightrope ? In both cases you really dont want to look down !

Q: Why is a girls pussy like an ocean? A: It's really wet and has a Sperm Whale in it.

An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs. The dentist said: "Excuse me; I 'm not a gynecologist." "I know," said the old lady "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."

One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return curious other girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room and occasionally when turned around, I saw the bed sheet too.”

Two men were shipwrecked on an island. They decided to venture inland to see if they could find someone. The men came across a village in the middle of a jungle, immediately they were surrounded by a tribe of islanders. The chief walks to the men and says, "What do you choose, Death or Boogaloo?" The first man thinks for a second and replies, "I choose Boogaloo". The chief smiles and the tribe begins to chant "boogaloo, boogaloo, boogaloo". The chief takes the man, bends him over and f**ks him up. The second man is horrified at what he has just witnessed and then the chief walks up to him and asks, "You must choose, Death or Boogaloo?" The man thinks he would rather die than have boogaloo, so he replies, "I choose death." The tribe roars in ecstasy and the chief yells, "Death by boogaloo!!!"

Can you help me achieve a coronal mass ejection?

You see, masturbation is so unpredictable. I just go up and down.

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!" "What a coincidence" the farmer said. "This is a special day for me, I am celebrating."  "This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating," said the woman. "What a coincidence!" said the farmer.  As they clinked glasses he added, "What are you celebrating?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!" "What a coincidence!" said the man.  "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs." "That's great!" said the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I used a different ****," he replied. The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, "What a coincidence!"

A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables." The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer." The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"

A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."...

A boy watches his mum and dad having s*x he ask, "What are you doing ?" His dad replies, "Making you a brother or sister!" Boy say, "Do her d*ggy style I want a puppy."