Whats the similarity between getting a bl*wjob from an 80 year old and walking the tightrope ? In both cases you really dont want to look down !
Teacher: How we use the light? Pupil: To suck it? Teacher: Why do you say so? Pupil: Because every night, my mother says to my father, "Switch off the light, I wanna suck it!"
What said Adam to Eva at they’re first rendezvous? Get back! I have no idea how big it grows!
Q: What's the best part about gardening? A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything.
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
When you are in Hospital, your friends ask: "Hey, how are you dear?" But your best friend ask: "Hey buddy, how is the nurse?"
Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue? A: Well hung.
A man walks into a bar and says loudly, "Bartender, six shots!" The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow six shots, whats the occasion?" The man replies , "First bl*wjob!" The bartender then pours him a seventh shot and says, "Congrats man, this ones on me." The man then says , "Man if six shots cant get the taste out of my mouth I don't know what will!"
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates A: Hugh Hefner.
Man comes home to find his 17 yr old daughter with a d*ldo up her. "What are you doing," he shouts. "Well you won't let me have a boyfriend so this is my substitute," she explains. The next night the daughter comes home to find her dad with a d*ldo up his arse drinking a can of beer, "What are you doing," she shouts. He replays, "Having a beer with your boyfriend."