Joke #241

An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?" The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four." The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced "Four." The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked "How much do you want it to be?"
Vote: has 70.90 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, math

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?" The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4." Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, "4.0" Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, "What do you want it to be?"
Vote: has 76.27 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, math
Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.
Vote: has 80.72 % from 1293 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, math, racist
Two law partners hire a new cute, young secretary and a contest arises between them as to who can bed her first, even though they’re both already married. Eventually one of them scores with her and his partner is quite eager to hear how things went. “So what did you think?” he asks. “Ahh,” replies the first lawyer, “my wife is better.” Some time goes by, and then the second lawyer goes to bed with the secretary. “So,” asks the first guy, “what did you think?” The second guy replies, “You were right.”
Vote: has 78.47 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, time, wife
How I see math word problems: If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.
Vote: has 63.55 % from 162 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math, science
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dad, kids, lawyer
The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”. She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”. He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”. She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”. He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
Vote: has 74.95 % from 182 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, time
Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Vote: has 66.43 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, math, time
Teacher: "Are you good at math?" Pupil: "Yes and no." Teacher: "What do you mean?" Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, school, teacher
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
Vote: has 22.18 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer