Why did I divide sin by tan? Just cos.
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
What is the shortest mathematicians joke? Let epsilon be smaller than zero.
The bartender asks: "Would all three of you like some beer?" The first one replies, "I don't know." The second one replies, "I don't know either." The third replies, "Yes."
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9!
Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples? A:A high school math problem!
The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”. She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”. He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”. She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”. He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.
A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream? He took the goose over first and came back. Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.
One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch: "My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."