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One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home.
He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?"
His father replied, "Figure it out."
Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?"
The teacher said: "Figure it out."
Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children?
A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
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Q: Do you already know the latest stats joke?
A: Probably...
There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game.
At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win $1000.
The first question was what is 10 plus 11?
She hesitates and says, "hm.. 5!"
The host says "No, I'm sorry thats incorrect."
All of the blondes in the stadium chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
So the host agrees and said, "Ok how about 5 plus 5."
She answers and says "20".
Again all the blondes chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
So the host agrees again and says, "OK, last chance, what is 2 plus 2."
The blonde says "4!" and the audience says "Give her another chance give her another chance!"
Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space.
"How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk.
"My head's spinning," the engineer confesses.
"How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?"
"Well, it's not even difficult.
All I do is visualize the situation in n-dimensional space and then set n = 13."
Count from one to ten.
That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
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There are three kinds of accountants in the world.
Those who can count and those who can't.
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