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Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A:A high school math problem!
The teacher asked Willy, "If you have seven cookies and Billy asks you for three, how many cookies have been left with you?"
Willy immediately answered, "Seven!"
Q:What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work.
The philosopher can do without the trash bin.
Why was the math textbook so sad?
He had a lot of problems!
An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland.
The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black."
"No, no, no!" says the physicist.
"Only some Scottish sheep are black."
The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which appears black from here."
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.
His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ?
The logician replies: "yes".
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven?
A: She didn't know what one came first.
Teacher: "Are you good at math?"
Pupil: "Yes and no."
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"
Did you hear about the mathematician with constipation ?
He had to work it out with a pencil...