Joke #2521

From tomorrow you are free! The lawyer informs his client. Yes, I’m so happy, I have nothing to say, grumbled the prisoner. I torment myself for 5 years to make a rope ladder, 3 years to rasp the cage bars and you come now with the amnesty ordinance, exactly now when I wanted to break free...
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

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A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."
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Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
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Out of courtesy, sharks never attack lawyers.
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A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: cop, lawyer, wife
Q: Did you hear about the dead lawyer who was too big to fit in a coffin? A: They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency. To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office: Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000. With all these, you never made a donation to the charity... If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds? No... answers mayor. In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind. The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted: And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans. Stunned, the mayor says: I didn’t know, please accept my apologies... But the lawyer continues: I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...
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has 27.24 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: health, kids, lawyer, money
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Why don’t you see lawyers on the beach? Cats keep covering them with sand.
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw? A: Outlaws are wanted.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What’s a foot long, transparent and lies in the gutter. A lawyer once the crap’s been kicked out of him.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer