Joke #3877

What’s black and tan and looks great on a lawyer? A Dobermann pinscher.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!" The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!" "Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second. At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved." Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, lawyer
Why God did made the snake before lawyers? To exercise.
Vote: has 20.20 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, god, lawyer
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined!" "It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer. "Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?" "No! The judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court." Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It really worked!" Confidently the lawyer responded, "I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them." "But I did send them.", replied the man. "What?" shouted the lawyer. "I sure did, that's how we won the case... good thing I remembered to enclose the plaintiff's business card."
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and a drunk are in a bar when they spot a hundred pounds on the floor. Who gets it? The drunk – the other three are mythological creatures.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer has just settled down in his new office. So now, he is thinking what he can do to have clients. After a long time thinking, a man comes into the office. Right away, the lawyer decides to make his new plan take action. So he picks up the phone and says: "Unfortunately, Ms. Onassis, I cannot undertake your case right now. I am working full time, call me in a month to see if I can help you." He puts the phone down and says to the waiting man: "How can I help you sir?" "Nothing really, I am from telephone communications, I just came to connect your phone."
Vote: has 81.23 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, lawyer, office, phone, work
What’s the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? The hooker will stop screwing you when you’re dead.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Why don’t you see lawyers on the beach? Cats keep covering them with sand.
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers? A: They grow taller!
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, lawyer, mean, viagra
An accountant and a lawyer were laying on a beach in Hawaii sipping mai tai's. The lawyer started telling the accountant how he came to be there. "I had this downtown property in Memphis that caught fire and after the insurance paid off, I came here." The accountant said, "I had a downtown property, too, in Miami. It got flooded so here I am with the insurance proceeds." The lawyer took another sip of his mai tai, and then asked in a puzzled voice, "How do you start a flood?"
Vote: has 81.21 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, geography, lawyer
Out of courtesy, sharks never attack lawyers.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer