Out of courtesy, sharks never attack lawyers.
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Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks.
Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.
The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!”
The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks?
A: Professional courtesy.
When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before a crime, we call him an accomplice.
When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after a crime, we call him a defence lawyer.
How is an earnest lawyer called?
An oxymoron.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: Clothes.
What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge.
A lawyer with insomnia consults his doctor.
‘Which side is it best to lie on?’ he asks.
‘The side that pays your fee,’ replies the doctor.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a spermatozoid?
Only one from 30.000 gets a man.