Twenty teams in the league and you are in the last place?
Well, it could have been worse.
How?
There could have been more teams in the league!
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The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low.
The Cubs have the same chip in there scoreboard.
A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, "I am a deaf mute. May I please play through?"
The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "No, you CANNOT play through." He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, "I can't believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that!
Shame on you!"
The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and then walked off to finish the hole.
Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball that knocked him out cold.
When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four fingers.
Chuck Norris became famous when he coached the American rugby and America won the fifa world cup.
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When I see you, there's a Ruthian blast in my pants.
High five!
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon.
I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
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Two man playing golf were held up by two women playing in front of them.
One man said: "I'll walk up to them and tell them to hurry up."
When he returned he said: "I have a problem, one of the women is my wife and the other one is my mistress."
The second man said: "I'll walk up to them and hurry them up."
He came back and said: "We both have the same problem.”
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting.
I'm not getting up."
Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute.
The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
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A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans.
All of the hands go up except for one student.
"Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?"
"The Red Sox."
"Why's that?"
"Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too."
"That's not a good answer, Bobby.
If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?"
"No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan.
When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
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