Joke #2551

You realize that you are dependent of the internet when: You forget in what year you are. You get out from you’re room and you discover that you’re parent moved and you don’t even know when that happened. You dream only of quick connections. You open you’re interphone when you get out from you’re room so you can hear when you get an e-mail.

What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.

Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

What do computers eat when they get hungry? "Chips."

I’ve invented a human computer. When he does a mistake he blames another computer.

Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.

Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.

HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’

Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers? It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

A customer comes into the computer store. I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging." "Well," replied the clerk, "Have you tried Vista?"