You realize that you are dependent of the internet when:
You forget in what year you are.
You get out from you’re room and you discover that you’re parent moved and you don’t even know when that happened.
You dream only of quick connections.
You open you’re interphone when you get out from you’re room so you can hear when you get an e-mail.
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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
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A computer programmer has been missing from work for over a week.
Finally someone notices and calls the police.
They break down the door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body.
The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure and exhaustion.
The puzzle is explained when the police read the instructions on the shampoo bottle – ‘Wet hair.
Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.’
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad?
A: Data
How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding?
That’s a hardware problem!
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down.
The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke."
The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas."
The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system."
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?"
The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."
I think Chuck Norris is fake cuz if he were real he'd come right now and smash my face into my keyboaraoebdbfjvjdblgoirugsvdkf
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An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress.
The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered.
The lawyer warns of the difficulties.
It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy.
The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
My wife thinks I’m with my mistress.
My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
Programmer.
A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.