You realize that you are dependent of the internet when:
You forget in what year you are.
You get out from you’re room and you discover that you’re parent moved and you don’t even know when that happened.
You dream only of quick connections.
You open you’re interphone when you get out from you’re room so you can hear when you get an e-mail.
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How do two programmers make money?
One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
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Wikipedia: I know everything!
Google: I have everything!
Facebook: I know everybody!
Internet: Without me you are nothing!
Electricity: Keep talking bitches!
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Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong.
Why?
Because a virus does something.
What does the informatics teacher scream when he’s drowning? - F1, F1, F1...
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball."
Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
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There are 2 types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data
If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.
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Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in a vivid display, an angelic chorus pouring from the speakers.
Satan is astonished, ‘How did he manage that?’
God replies, ‘You might have lost everything, but Jesus saves.’
Murphy's Laws of Computing
1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. To err is human.. to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.
7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.
9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
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