Joke #2565

What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.

Knock Knock Whose there? 9/11 9/11 who? I thought you said you would never forget.

A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution. "Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile. "Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac. There was silence, and then the masochist said: "Meow."

A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?" "Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"

Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion? "Ask your sister" "I don't have a..."

What's red and crawls up your leg? A homesick miscarriage.

Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree. He's been hanging there for quite a while.

Q: What do you do when you see a black man with half a face? A: Stop laughing and reload.

The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. "I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer. Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling. The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it."

Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....

Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn't have any arms.