Joke #2565

What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.

How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.

Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.

Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? A: There are twenty of them.

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: Because you can see right through them!

Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV? A: His son running away with your VCR.

A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her but he can't. Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid. Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help. So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch. They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street. He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, "Don't worry. I got him with the door!"

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine. I guess that was why several of us died of tuberculosis.

I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. A bittersweet victory.

A guy is walking along the beach, when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs lying on the sand, crying. He walks over to her and asks what's wrong. "I've never been hugged before" she says. Thinking this is a simple enough request, the man hugs her. She soon starts crying again. He again asks what's wrong, and she replies, "I've never been kissed before." The man again complies with her wishes and gives her a romantic kiss. She starts crying again, and the man, slightly irritated, asks what's her problem. "I've never been fucked before" she says. So he picks her up and throws her in the ocean and says, "There, now you're fucked."

First cannibal: "Come and have dinner in our but tonight." Second cannibal: "What are you having?" First cannibal: "Hard-boiled legs."