What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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Similar jokes
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"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!"
"How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
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Daughter: "That's it! I'll mary Arthur!"
Mother: "But he is a lazy guy and heavy-drinker!"
Father: "But you have to start with something!"
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Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment.
"I’m sorry," said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks."
"But I could be dead by then!"
"No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment."
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid?
A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
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A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken.
The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
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Q: How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’?
A: Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…
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Woman delivers baby.
Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc.
Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?"
Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead.
I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
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