The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
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What has more brains than a dead baby?
The wall behind it.
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*Wakes up to wife and son screaming*
Me: "What are you guys yelling about?"
Them: "You're driving!"
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Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing?
A: He didn't have any arms.
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The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
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Q: How do you get 15,000 followers?
A: Run through Africa with a water bottle.
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Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die."
Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
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Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team?
A: The New York Jets.
I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped.
Saved myself a fiver.
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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children.
You put groceries in the other.
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I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade.
Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
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