There was a 3 car accident in Mexico yesterday, 84 people were found dead.
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day? You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Allahu Akbar. Allahu AK- BOOM!!!
Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?" Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat? Bone appetit!
"My parachute did not work." Said no one ever.
Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies? A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He has to eat his way out. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He goes back for more.