There was a 3 car accident in Mexico yesterday, 84 people were found dead.
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Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
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Q: Why do old Jews have outhouses?
A: Because their afraid of the showers.
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Two kids were talking together.
First: "My daddy is so tall that he can touch the clouds in the sky with his hands."
Second: "That is excellent. Does your daddy touch something soft and downy?"
First: "Yes, of course."
Second: "Those are my daddy's testicles."
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My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
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First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?"
Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."
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What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl?
The hippie girl gets stoned before have sex.
What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat?
Bone appetit!
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And these kids do not deserve a present from me, because they have not been eating well this year, - said Santa Claus, flying over the starving kids in Sudan.
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Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die."
Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
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Guy having sex says "damn bitch, there should be a law against sex this good."
To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy..."
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