There was a 3 car accident in Mexico yesterday, 84 people were found dead.
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In a monastery senior sister announces to other sisters:
I have a good and a bad news for you.
The good one is that they have broughts to use a lot of carrots.
All the sisters start whistling happily.
But one of them asks:
What are the bad news?
Carrots came grated.
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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said:
"Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
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What has more brains than a dead baby?
The wall behind it.
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Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He got the gas bill.
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Two clones are on a roof.
One clone pushes the other clone off.
The next day the police arrest him for making an obscene clone fall.
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Funeral jokes are the best - they never die...
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Why do orphans like playing tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
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Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.
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An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The guy was your doctor..."
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