Joke #1375

How did they know that the driver had dandruff? They found his head and shoulders in the glove box.

How can you tell if you have acne? If the blind can read your face.

I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store. I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...

What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!

A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hell and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth. The white guy was really confident...first step, he caught a fire a disappeared. The Mexican, nervously toke the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared. The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames. Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"

I got in trouble during high school for masturbating in the showers. Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.

Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"

"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"

What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. "Jack, I've got to confess -- I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade." "Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini."