Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Three buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, "When you’re in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy says, "I’d like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I’d like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy replies, "I’d like to hear them say…… look at him, he's moving!"
I'm so broke, I don't even get excited when I find money because I'm sure I owe it to someone.
Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals? A: He went down really well!
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Black humour is like a pair of legs. Not everyone has it.
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?" After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor". The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair". Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news". The doctor replies, "He's dead".
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies? A: Taking them out with pitchforks.