Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
What's the good part of there being no blacks on the Jetsons? It means the future will be great!
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered. “What did he say?,” asked the nurse. “OOPS!”
The worst place to have a heart attack is during a gama of cherades. ...Especially if the people you are playing with, are really bad guessers.
A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
Q: What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust? A: The cost.
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
What do u call a black priest? Holy shit.
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."