Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuck a table.
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A ship goes out to sea and crashes.
6 people (1 woman and 5 men) survive and use a safety raft to float to this deserted island.
Well, after spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely and sexually deprived.
So they come to this agreement.
All of the men will marry the one woman for a week.
So the first man has her for one week, the second man has her for the second week, and so on.
Everyone will now be getting sex and they all agree to it.
This goes on for five years and everyone is happy.
Each man gets sex every fifth week and the woman gets to have sex whenever she wants with a different man every week.
Well, a few weeks into the fifth year, the woman dies.
The first week is pretty bad, the second week is still pretty bad, the third week is getting worse, the fourth week things are just bad, real bad, and the fifth week is just awful.
It’s getting so very bad that on the sixth week they buried her.
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How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
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Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies?
A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
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While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out.
"Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."
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Joke has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, customer service, death, work
Daddy to his son:
I don't care if you are dating a black girl - they are all pink on the inside.
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What's funnier than cancer?
Most things, really.
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Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour?
A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one rubbish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 rubbish bins.
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