What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
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I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
A bittersweet victory.
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Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?
A. They both live off dead Beatles.
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What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl?
The hippie girl gets stoned before have sex.
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth?
With a blender.
How do you get them out?
Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
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Anal sex is like your first car - you dont really want it, but your dad gave it to you anyways.
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What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
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The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him.
"I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer.
Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling.
The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it."
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Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
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I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
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