The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.
Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones.
This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.
Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.
Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
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What do you call a Scottish iPhone?
An AyePhone.
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
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Q:Why did the computer lose its trust relationship with the domain?
A:Because it was corrupted in active directory and needed to be removed and re-added again!
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What do you get when you cross an apple with a nun?
A computer that won’t go down.
Our staff has completed the 3 years of work on time and under budget.
We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system.
We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.
We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the following new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December and...
Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y-to-K problem has made any sense to me.
But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible.And what does the year 2000 have to do with it?
Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?
We await your direction.
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Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
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Chuck Norris does not know about this website.
If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
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If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Q: What did Data find when he went into the bathroom stall?
A: Captain's log.