Joke #2583

The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does. Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years. Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer. Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: IT

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
Vote:
has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, IT, programmer
An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong. Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide. Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?" Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized." Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?" Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down. 'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it?'" Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?" Customer: "After they were initialized, all the disks appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office. Did I do something wrong?"
Vote:
has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: IT
Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer? Nerdvana.
Vote:
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: IT
Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
Vote:
has 70.45 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers? It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
Vote:
has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.” The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.” And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”
Vote:
has 67.11 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
Vote:
has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: IT
Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx.
Vote:
has 20.57 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: IT
What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ? There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!
Vote:
has 72.89 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist? An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, science