Joke #2583

The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does. Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years. Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer. Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

A programmer had a problem. He decided to use Java. He now has a ProblemFactory.

Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus? It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.

Bill Gates was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. Bill Gates looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"

A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away. The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely. The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’

Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.

With searching comes loss And the presence of absence: ‘My Novel’ not found.

What is the other name for the ‘Intel Inside?' "The warning label." {Intel inside.......fool is outside}.

What do Scientists have for snacks? Micro-chips.

Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!

I’ve invented a human computer. When he does a mistake he blames another computer.