Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in a vivid display, an angelic chorus pouring from the speakers.
Satan is astonished, ‘How did he manage that?’
God replies, ‘You might have lost everything, but Jesus saves.’
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Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems.
They decide to throw a coin.
Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard."
Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT."
Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
A tourist was drowning in the sea:
Help! Help! He screams.
Very calm the fisherman says:
Press F1 already and stop screaming.
You’re scaring the fishes away.
To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the IT professional, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Vote:
James Bond got this email from a friend:
CanYouPleaseFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?
My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill.
How irresponsible people are.
Windows, the world's first commercially successful virus!
My software never has bugs.
It just develops random features.
CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.
God called a meeting of George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates.
‘I’ve given you all the tools you needed to make a better world,’ says God.
‘But you’ve failed and I’m ending the world in two weeks.’
Bush goes on TV and says, ‘I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.’
Tony Blair says, ‘I have bad news and really bad news.
The bad news is that God is really annoyed.
The really bad news is he’s going to destroy us.’
Bill Gates calls his workers together and says, ‘I have good news and great news.
The good news is that God thinks I’m one of the three most powerful people in the world.
The great news is that we don’t have to fix the bugs in the new Windows package.’
