Home is where the wifi connects automatically.
90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales? Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them.
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
What's an extroverted IT professional? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you, instead of his own.
Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.” Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?” Customer: “Netscape.” Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?” Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?” Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.” Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”
A new army computer is put through its paces. An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armoury?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’ The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’