Someday, the people who know how to use computers will rule over those who don’t.
And there will be a special name for them – secretaries.
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What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb?
A thyme machine.
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!
Me: Siri, why am I alone?
Siri: *opens front facing camera*
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
You realize that you are dependent of the internet when:
You forget in what year you are.
You get out from you’re room and you discover that you’re parent moved and you don’t even know when that happened.
You dream only of quick connections.
You open you’re interphone when you get out from you’re room so you can hear when you get an e-mail.
I’ve got one those special filter programmes on my Internet access.
It’s really handy, it blocks out everything except porn sites.
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth surgeon said, "I like technicians...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."