How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four.
One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
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A man went into a bar in a high rise.
He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out.
He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar.
As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more.
Finally the man asked if he could have a pill.
The flier said it was his last one.
The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars.
The man said that it was all he had on him.
The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar.
The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death.
The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, “You sure are mean when you’re drunk, Superman.
"The auditors have just left, sir."
"Did they check the books?"
"Very thoroughly."
"What did they say?"
"They want 15% to keep quiet."
Vote:
William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ?
Mum: What crying man ?
William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'
Q: What is a Democratic Free Market?
A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun.
"Your money or your life!" says the mugger.
"I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life."
A horse walks into a bar.
He walks up to the bartender and says "Give me a beer."
The bartender is stunned, so he heads to the back of the bar to speak with the owner.
"Hey boss" he says, "there's a horse in the bar asking for a beer."
The bar owner pauses for a second, then replies "Well then give him one, but charge him double. Horses don't know the price of beer."
So the bartender heads back out front and hands the horse a beer.
"You know," says the barkeep, "we don't get many horses around here."
To which the horse replies, "At these prices I'm not surprised."
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette?
He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
What kind of money do polar bears use?
Ice lolly.