How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it..
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Vote:
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.
The one guy said, “I’m a YUPPIE.
You know, Young Urban Professional.”
The second guy responded, “I’m a DINK.
You know, Double Income No Kids.”
They then asked the woman, “What are you?”
She replied: “I’m a WIFE.
You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.”
Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?
A: Women!
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."
On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"
"Yes", the boy's mother answered.
"And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked.
"Who cares?" the mother replied.
A Jamaican man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical Jamaican baby boy weighing 20 pounds."
Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard.
A woman fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, he returned to the bar.
The bartender said, "Say, you're the father of the Jamaican baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth.
How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds."
The bartender was puzzled.
"Why? What happened?
He weighed 20 pounds at birth?"
The Jamaican father took a slow sip from his Red Stripe beer, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."
One day a women walks into work in a short skirt.
As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says,
“Your hair smells really nice today.”
She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office.
She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened.
The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?”
Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist.
The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window.
He immediately told her to undress.
After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh.
He asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?”
“Yes,” she replied, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.”
“That is right,” said the doctor.
He then began to fondle her breasts.
“Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asked.
“Yes,” the woman said, “you’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer.”
“Correct,” replied the shady doctor.
Finally, he mounts his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her.
He asked, “Do you know what I’m doing now?”
“Yes,” she said. “You’re getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place!”