The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college president, "you already make more than the entire History department."
"Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered.
"Look."
He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway.
"Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered.
Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath.
"You're not there, sir," he reported.
"Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the president, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
They have traced the Gay Gene all the way back to the time of the Dinosaurs.
They found two distinct species.
They have named them Lickalotapus and Megasoreass.
Q: Why do Americans like black candles?
A: Because it reminds them of 'the good old days'.
Vote:
Yo' mama so fat, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!
During preseason training, a college football lineman married one of the team's cheerleaders.
The coach was a bit surprised and remarked to his star football player, "You are such a big, burley guy.
Why in the world did you marry such a tiny, petite woman?
She is no bigger than your hand."
"That's right, Coach," replied the lineman.
"But, she's much better!"
Who's the biggest prostitute in history?
Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
Oh, you play racquetball?
You must be extremely athletic.
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history.
At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
Vote:
Nate: Why was school easier for cave people?
Kate: Why?
Nate: Because there was no history to study!
A Yankee walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan.
The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?"
"No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire."
The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?"
"I'm a taxidermist," says the man.
The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"
A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"
The husband said, "No sweetie."
The woman said, "I'm sure you would."
So the man said, "Okay, I would"
Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"
And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so."
Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?"
And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."