Joke #3889

Why did the captain lose the yacht race? He found himself in a no-wind situation.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: sport

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The frustrated golfer drove over the river and threw the woods. Swimming
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has 14.67 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: sport
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
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has 74.87 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, divorce, sport
A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go." "But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered. But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
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has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, sport
Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race. Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs...
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: sport
I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: sport
Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: fitness, sport
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: death, sport
The boxer fells down in the fourth round. The referee starts counting. Billy’s grandmother gets up on her legs from the first row and screams: Stop counting for nothing, he won’t get up! I know him from the buss...
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has 20.20 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: sport
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived. Everything went quite well. As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts", and the patients complied by standing up. After the anthem, he yelled, "Down Nuts", and they all sat back down in their seats. After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts." They all broke out into applause and cheered. When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, "Booooo Nuts" and they all started booing and cat calling. Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he turned, there was a riot in progress. Finding his tizzied assistant, the doctor asked, "What in the world happened?" The assistant replied, "Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled, 'peanuts'".
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has 48.13 % from 216 votes. More jokes about: cat, doctor, game, sport
Guy: "You see doc, the problem is obesity runs in the family." Doctor: "No, the problem is no one runs in your family."
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has 81.48 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: doctor, family, fat, sport