Why did the captain lose the yacht race? He found himself in a no-wind situation.
Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
Whats the difference between usain bolt and hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race...
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. "Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox." "Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too." "That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?" "No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
The hardest thing about prizefighting is picking up your teeth wearing a boxing glove.
While giving a physical, a doctor notices that his patient’s shins are covered in dark, savage bruises. ‘Tell me,’ says the doctor. ‘Do you play hockey or soccer?’ ‘No,’ said the man. ‘But my wife and I play bridge.’
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
Hey babe, can I get into your penalty box? High five!
"I like to watch the World Series. Here's what I do. I sit down and drink a few beers in my underwear and scream at the TV. That's until they throw me out of Applebees." Dave Letterman
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.