Joke #2667

Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
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has 82.41 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: women

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Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go". First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds. Bill chooses Hell. About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons. Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?" St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
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has 73.42 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, heaven, women
Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed? Yeah... now he has no ears.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, love, women
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
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has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: women
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
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has 46.40 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
Question: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? Answer: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
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has 29.10 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: women
Two women are digging in the garden. One pulls out a foot-long carrot. She says, "This one reminds me of my husband." The second woman says, "Your husband's is that long?" "No that dirty."
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: women
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
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has 60.67 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wife, women
A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why is your head so small?" He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had sex with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody one wish, so I asked her to have sex with me. She said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"
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has 75.62 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: bartender, beauty, communication, sex, women
A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to kill myself? The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your breast, you will be dead!" 2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened? I shot myself into my knee.
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, medical, time, women
A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!
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has 65.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: blonde, terrorist, women