Joke #2667

Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand to see a man have a good time.

The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills. The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there, so he told the couple he would ask directions when they got closer to their destination. Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat. During the couple’s moment of passion, the cabdriver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next turn, right?" "Screw NO, get your own woman," said the groom, "this one’s all mine!"

What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.

Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.

Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.

Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"

Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.

My ex-wife is so thick, that it is for me, when we meet sometimes, easier to jump her over than to go around her.

There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return. When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.

A Girl was towelling her wet pussy. She enjoyed it so much that she began to rub it vigorously until... ...the pussy cried "Meow" and runs away. Moral Lessons 1. Be kind to Animals 2. Always keep your thoughts clean...

Black man found a bottle in the desert, opened it and the genie flew out: "Ask for what you want - I'll fulfill three of your wishes!" "I want to be white, often see nude woman, and that I will always be full of water!" Genie waved his hand and turned the black man to a water closet...