How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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Why can't single women fart?
They don't get an asshole till they get married.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Why is a woman different from a PC?
A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy.
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Q: What Valentine's Day candy is best to give a girl?
A: Her-She Kisses.
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Why is it called PMS? — Because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.
She slammed the door and shouted excitedly, "Honey, pack your bags.
I won the lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God!
What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said, "Just get out."
What is a buttress?
A female goat.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island.
After one month the woman says:
"I can not proceed in this way."
And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they dig up the woman.
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