Joke #2680

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Vote: has 31.97 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A girl visited her boyfriend, which was still living with his mother, at his house. His mother had Puritan principals. The mother, as long as the girl was there, didn’t even try to hide her dislike feelings for his son’s choice. "Mom, can I escort Helen?" The girl, waiting to hear a cold hearted "no", she surprised hears: "Sure... You can! Escort her... to the corner with your eyes!"
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman? A: Too close to the gas chamber.
Vote: has 46.16 % from 58 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, dirty, jewish, men, women
A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
Vote: has 77.05 % from 115 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, marriage, time, women
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Vote: has 65.44 % from 398 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, kids, women
Boy calls 911. Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.
Vote: has 83.58 % from 329 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
Vote: has 64.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: asian, light bulb, mean, women
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cat, dirty, mean, weather, women
Two men work in a mortuary. One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today. She'd been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle." "Ew!" says the other fellow. "It was green?" "No, it was sour!"
Vote: has 66.94 % from 242 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, women, work
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
Vote: has 56.76 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, military, women
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
Vote: has 84.66 % from 425 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife, women