Joke #2680

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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A man and a woman meet at bar one day and are getting along really well. They decide to go back to the woman's house where they engage in passionate love making. The woman suddenly cocks her ear and says, "Quick my husband just got home, go hide in the bathroom!" So the man runs into the bathroom. Her husband comes up into the bedroom and looks at her. "Why are you naked?" he asks. "Well, I heard you pull up outside, so I thought I would come up here and get ready for you." "Okay" the man replies "I'll go get ready." He goes into the bathroom before his wife can stop him and sees a naked man standing there clapping his hands. "Who the f**k are you?" the man asks. "I am from the exterminator company, your wife called me in to get rid of the moths you are having problems with." The husband exclaims, "But you are naked!" The man then looks down and jumps back in surprise. "Those little bastards!"
Vote: has 79.58 % from 456 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, love, sex, women
Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
Vote: has 71.35 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: flirt, health, mean, men, women
Q: Why do women wear black underwear? A: They are mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
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Womens are like computer virus... they ENTER your life... SEARCH your pocket... SHIFT your balance ... CONTROL your life... when you become an old version DELET you from the system
Vote: has 64.28 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, IT, life, money, women
Question: How do you fix a woman’s watch? Answer: You don’t. There’s a clock on the stove.
Vote: has 37.36 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
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Q: How do you be pro in clash royale? A: Use rocket and rage spell ladies.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: game, geek, women
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Vote: has 46.29 % from 111 votes. Send joke:
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A girl visited her boyfriend, which was still living with his mother, at his house. His mother had Puritan principals. The mother, as long as the girl was there, didn’t even try to hide her dislike feelings for his son’s choice. "Mom, can I escort Helen?" The girl, waiting to hear a cold hearted "no", she surprised hears: "Sure... You can! Escort her... to the corner with your eyes!"
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
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Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
Vote: has 38.75 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, dirty, winter, women
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and hugged her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "You worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, women