Joke #2669

Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
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Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
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What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
Vote: has 79.91 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
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The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel,sir." "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent . Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."
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Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
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Q: How do you wake up Lady gaga? A: Poke her face.
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Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.
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At a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries. The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering. The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side. The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a curtain, because it goes down after the act. With great resignation, the wife of Clinton says in the USA you call it a rumor, because it goes from mouth to mouth…
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A guy is walking along the beach, when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs lying on the sand, crying. He walks over to her and asks what's wrong. "I've never been hugged before" she says. Thinking this is a simple enough request, the man hugs her. She soon starts crying again. He again asks what's wrong, and she replies, "I've never been kissed before." The man again complies with her wishes and gives her a romantic kiss. She starts crying again, and the man, slightly irritated, asks what's her problem. "I've never been fucked before" she says. So he picks her up and throws her in the ocean and says, "There, now you're fucked."
Vote: has 81.09 % from 573 votes. Send joke:
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Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
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Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
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