Why are marriend women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator.
A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the First house of the street. A tall lady answered the door. Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet. "Madam, if I could not clean this up within 5 minutes with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this dung!" exclaimed the eager salesman. "Do you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady. The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?" "There's no electricity in the house…" said the lady.
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Q:Why did the woman cross the road? A I don't know, the real question is, why was she out of the kitchen?
Q: Why do women wear black underwear? A: They are mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.
Q: Why is life like a penis? A: Women make it hard!
Question: How is a woman like a laxative? Answer: They both irritate the shit out of you.