Joke #4838

Why are marriend women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator.
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

"Does she have a boyfriend?" "Yes, a cute, strong and clever one." "What's the name?" "John, Michael and Bill."
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: relationship, women
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
Vote: has 63.82 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: golf, men, sport, winter, women
GOD said, “Adam, I want you to do something for me.” “Gladly, Lord,” replied Adam. “What do you want me to do?” “Go down into the valley.” “What’s a valley?” asked Adam. God explained to him, then said, Cross the river.” “What’s a river?” God explained it to him, and then continued, “Go over the hill…”. “What’s a hill?” God explained to Adam what a hill was, then said, “On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave.” “What’s a cave?” After God explained, he said, “In the cave you will find a woman.” Adam asked, “What’s a woman?” So God explained that to him too. He continued, “I want you to reproduce.” “How do I do that?” “Jeez,” God muttered under his breath. He then sighed and explained the birds and the bees to Adam. He liked that concept very much, so he went down into the valley, across the river, over the hill and into the cave where he found a woman.” A little while later, Adam returned and asked God, “What’s a headache?”
Vote: has 75.20 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, health, sex, women
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, men, women
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.
Vote: has 40.29 % from 88 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women
What is a buttress? A female goat.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, women
A girl goes to a library. Girl: I want the book, "Women- The most perfect and intelligent." . . . . Librarian: Comic section is at the backside.
Vote: has 77.37 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
A single woman who retired just a few months back walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in her neighborhood. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, alcohol, life, old people, women
Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed? Yeah... now he has no ears.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, love, women
It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honour." Testified the man charged with indecent exposure. "Explain that statement!" demanded the Judge. "Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman... So I showed her."
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, lawyer, women