Joke #5800

Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly... On a broomstick. We're flexible like that.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: women

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The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
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There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
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Whats six inches long, has a head on it and drives women wild ? A fifty pound note !
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: women
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
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has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: athlete, sex, women
Alex an Aussie builder was going through a house he had just built for the woman who owned it. She was telling him what colour to paint each room. They went into the first room and she said "I want this room to be painted a light blue." The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"  When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be bright red. The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"  When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be tan. The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"  When he came back, the lady was pretty curious, so she asked him "I keep telling you colours, but you go out the front and yell 'green side up' - what is that for?" The builder said, "Oh don't worry about that, I've just got a couple of Kiwi's laying the turf out front."
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: men, women, work
Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common? A: They all get the house.
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has 54.80 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: marriage, weather, women
Why are marriend women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: women
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you." The guy says, "I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."
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has 74.45 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: bar, fat, music, women
My ex-wife is so thick, that it is for me, when we meet sometimes, easier to jump her over than to go around her.
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, mean, wife, women