Joke #2681

Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
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has 67.15 % from 283 votes. More jokes about: sex

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This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession. The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?" The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors." The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure." The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"
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has 66.69 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: church, life, priest, sex, war
A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?" "Pastor, I'm afraid we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied. "What happened?" inquired the pastor. "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was over come with lust and took advantage of her right there." "You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor. "That's okay," said the young man. "We're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either."
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has 85.53 % from 2364 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman? A: Inserting the anchovies
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has 26.31 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
Which is the most confusing day in America? Father's day! 80% don't know whom to wish. Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.
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has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, Fathers day, kids, sex
Knock-Knock Who is there? A long penis with a naked head. Come in please we were waiting for you.
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has 65.80 % from 262 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
A guy's talking to a girl in a bar. He says, "What's your name?" She says, "Carmen." He says, "That's a nice name. Who named you, your mother?" She says, "No, I named myself." He says, "Why Carmen?" She says, "Because I like cars and I like men. What's your name?" He says, "Beerfuck."
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has 75.68 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, car, dirty, sex
Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin? A: Relative humidity.
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
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has 39.18 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: sex
A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, hospital, sex
If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
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has 74.05 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex