Joke #2681

Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand to see a man have a good time.

When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.

The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.

My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.

Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.

A young , attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him, “Major, when was the last time you had sex?” “1956,” was his reply. “No wonder you look so uptight!” she exclaimed. “Major, you need to get out more!” “I’m not sure I understand you,” he answered, glancing at his watch, ”It’s only 2014 now.”

Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A: Her wedding cake.

‘I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’ Rodney Dangerfield

A kid asks his mom "why his sisters' middle name is Paris?" "Because that's where we conceived her." "Next, I was going to ask why my middle name is Chevy but now I know why."

Q: Why is a girls pussy like an ocean? A: It's really wet and has a Sperm Whale in it.