Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
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In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex?
Girl: A threesome.
Boy: What's it called when two people have sex?
Girl: A twosome.
Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome.
"Grandma, in the greengrocery they have that thick and that long cucumber."
Deaf grandma answers,"be sure he'll also marry you."
Q. Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ?
A. Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins!
Knock, Knock
Who is there?
A long erected penis with an eye on my head and some wools in my feet.
What do you want?
Is there any body to suck me? I want to weep.
Vote:
I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?"
"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you."
The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey.
One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first."
The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey.
Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?"
"We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"
Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"