Joke #3950

When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.
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has 66.17 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: sex

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How do you know when your cat’s finished cleaning himself? He’s smoking a cigarette.
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A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."' "But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question." "What is that, my son?" "Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
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has 78.70 % from 309 votes. More jokes about: geography, military, priest, sex, war
Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?" Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course." The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, little Johnny, prison, sex
Kid to her mother: "If you hurt me I'll make you pregnant by a needle." Mother: "How? My sweet it isn't possible." Kid: "I'll insert the needle to daddy's condom!"
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has 74.80 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, mean, sex, vulgar
An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
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has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: age, life, old people, sex, viagra
Q: What did Snow White say to Pinocchio when she was sitting on his face? A: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
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has 65.41 % from 234 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, gay, sex
A Lalu brought a simple, spendthrift wife from a small town in Bihar. He convinced her that they should go for Honeymoon. The wife would not understand complex term as honeymoon and kept asking for explanation. Lalu said, "Let me feel you my manhood in Honeymoon and you would know." They went. Had lots of fun and came back. Wife back at home asked, "I still don’t understand what is this honeymoon that we went for." The Husband said, "Oh, we were together, had so many hugs, kisses, varieties of sex, jokes, fun all that is honeymoon." The spendthrift wife got angry, "You should have told me that before. Back in town, Malu, Kalu, Suru and I were together all the times, and had this fun without spending a dime of my money."
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has 43.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: holiday, marriage, money, sex, wife
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
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has 63.42 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: sex, women
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, men, sex