When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.
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A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra.
Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.
His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,
"Some things you just can't explain.
This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole.
I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too.
As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt.
As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach.
The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.
The son comes running up to his mom and says: "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"
The mom says: "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play.
Several minutes later he comes running back and says: "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"
The mom says: "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play.
Several minutes later he comes running back and says: "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"
Q: What’s so good in f***ing twenty six year olds?
A: That they are twenty…
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man.
Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
Vote:
Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache."
The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"