Joke #2682

What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.

The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves." "Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000." Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?" "A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does." Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft." Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?" Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?" "Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.

Q: How are women and tornadoes alike? A: They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they go.

Question: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? Answer: The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...

Q: If a man crashes his car into a woman who's fault is it? A: Well what was the man doing driving in the kitchen...

Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!

A man knocked on a door an a women answered and he asked if he could use her toilet. She said you have 3 chances, if you do 3 things wrong I`ll call the police. So he went to piss but on the flush chain there was a bra so he ripped it off. Then when he was walking down the stairs he saw her cat called Boobs on the step & he hates cats so he squezed it & then threw it up the stairs. He then went in the kitchen where the women was & the women said why did you throw my cat up the stairs? He said I don`t know. While she went to get it, on the table was a glass of milk which he then drank. When the women came back she said you had your 3 chances now I'm calling the Police. When the police came they asked her what the man had done. She said this man has ripped her bra off, squezed her Boobs and drank her milk.