Joke #4747

Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
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has 83.35 % from 223 votes. More jokes about: school

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Two fathers chat outside school in the morning; "Bill, have you solved your son’s math problems?" "Yes, man, I did. Why?" "Can you quickly give them to me, so I can copy them...?"
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has 78.46 % from 218 votes. More jokes about: school
Little Johnny's first grade class was playing "Name That Animal." The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?" "A cat!" said Suzy. "Good job. Now, what's this animal?" "A dog!" said Ricky. "Good. Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer. The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad." "I know!" called out Little Johnny. "A horny bastard!"
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has 78.64 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: "I killed a person, tell me this sentence in future tense." Student: "In future tense, You will go to jail."
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has 83.44 % from 413 votes. More jokes about: school
Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
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has 66.68 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: air force, school, terrorist, war
There was an employment advertisement in an office. So a guy went there. Managrer asked him: "Do you know what is the meaning of Ph.D.?" The guy answered: "Passed High school with Difficulties."
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has 75.59 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: management, office, school, student, work
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with."
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has 78.82 % from 2441 votes. More jokes about: death, family, school, sex, teacher
A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me, young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?” The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!” The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?”
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it. Mary: No madam! I will not be able to attend it. Teacher: Why? Mary: My mother will not allow me to go so far!
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
A teacher:"John, I hope I won't see you're cheating." John:"Me either."
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: school
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, " I would do...anything." He returns her gaze. "Anything?" Anything." His voice softens. "Anything??" "Absolutely anything." His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"
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has 82.47 % from 1111 votes. More jokes about: school, student