Joke #2696

Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: Of course not. Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
Vote:
has 68.12 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: school

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Teacher: “Why are you late?” Boy: “Because of a sign down the road.” Teacher: “What does a sign have to do with your being late?” Boy: “The sign said, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!’”
Vote:
has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: school
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
Vote:
has 61.90 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school, sex
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?” A little boy on the front row proudly said, “You’re a mother!”
Vote:
has 72.18 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: school, science
The teacher said to the children: "In a paddock, there were twelve sheep. Six of them got out by jumping over the fence. How many sheep left behind?" "None", little Jim say. "None?" says the teacher surprised. "Jim, you’re clueless in math." "And you, misses, are clueless in sheep! As soon as the first sheep jumps out, the other will follow as well!"
Vote:
has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: school
Mother: Come on Pete you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for the college. Peter: O mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too. Mother: Yes you do. Peter: Give me a good reason Mother: You're 52 and you are the Principal!
Vote:
has 57.40 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: age, college, school
Teacher: "Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions." Pupil: "It's not the questions I have trouble with, it's the answers."
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: internet, school, student, teacher
One night 4 MBA students were outing till late night and didn`t study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. They then went up to the dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. Then dean was a just person so he said that you can have the retest after 3 days. They said they will be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before the dean. The dean said that this was a special condition test. All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test consisted of 2 questions with total of 100 marks: Q.1. Write down your name –(2 marks) Q.2. Which tyre burst — (98 marks)
Vote:
has 70.72 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: school
There's this black kid that goes to school and realizes teachers treat him differently than the white kids. So, he goes home, paints himself white and shows his dad. His dad beats the crud outta him. He shows his mother, "Hey Ma, Look! I'm white!" He gets beat by his mom too. Lastly, he shows his Grandmother, "Grandma, Look! I'm white! She beats him badly with her cane and sends him to his room. Later, his dad comes into his room and asks, "Son, did you learn anything out of this?" And the boy replies, "Duh! I've only been white for an hour and I already hate three niggers!"
Vote:
has 73.54 % from 1068 votes. More jokes about: kids, racist, school, teacher, white people
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. Teacher: What are you talking about? Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
Vote:
has 39.18 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: school
Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
Vote:
has 85.16 % from 1043 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, chemistry, death, little Johnny, school