“Dad, can you write in the dark?”
“I think so. What is it you want me to write?”
“Your name on this report card.”
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A female school teacher comes up to a parent at a parent meeting and says, "You know, your son called me a prostitute!"
Dad calls up his son and says: "So this teacher teaches you, helps you, wants you to get good grades and for all that you call her a prostitute?? what do you care about what she does after work?"
Little Johnny comes home from school, and his mom asks: "Johnny, how did it go with your exam? Was written or oral?"
And Johnny says: "Mom, I think it was anal... 'Cuz it went like shit!"
Vote:
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?
Q:Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm the school bell.
A: Take These tablets and if they don't work give me a ring in the morning.
Teacher: Can you tell me where Napoleon came from? Pupil: Course I can. Teacher: Very good.
Teacher: "Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions."
Pupil: "It's not the questions I have trouble with, it's the answers."
Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean.
Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there.
The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket.
The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out."
The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants."
While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires.
They both scream, "What are you doing?"
To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size."
Your mama so old she sat next to Moses in the second grade.
Teacher: "Alex, stop showing off. Do you think you are the teacher of this class?"
Alex: "No, Miss."
Teacher: "Then stop acting like a fool!"
Girl: What if a boy hugs me?
Mom: Say Don't
Girl: What if he kisses me?
Mom: Say stop.
The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DON'T STOP!...