Joke #5449

Q. What's the king of the pencil case? A. The ruler.
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has 59.42 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: school

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A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do. “The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?” The little girl replied, “My homework.”
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has 33.31 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly. Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan. Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.
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has 73.31 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: school
One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home. He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?" His father replied, "Figure it out." Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?" The teacher said: "Figure it out." Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
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has 40.11 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, school, stupid
Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t". Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.
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has 73.31 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: school
You could give me 37 years to do homework and I still wouldn't do it until the night before.
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has 71.97 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: school, student, time, work
Q: How do you know when an Asian robs your house? A: Your technology has been upgraded, your homework is finished, but he's still trying to back out of your drive way.
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has 53.25 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: asian, driving, school, technology
Little Johnny's dad was constantly bragging about him to everyone. He was always telling everyone he met how his little Johnny did this, little Johnny did that, and little Johnny was the best kid ever. One day little Johnny's dad was outside leaning on the fence talking to his next door neighbor. As usual it was "little Johnny did this, little Johnny did that, little Johnny's the best kid ever." Just then the school bus pulled up and little Johnny himself got off the bus. His dad was elated. He turned back to the neighbor and said, "There's my little Johnny now! Isn't he the best kid ever? I'll ask him how his day went." So when little Johnny walked by on his way into the house his dad said;  "So little Johnny, how was school today?" "Oh school was great today dad! I had SEX in school today!" Then little Johnny went on into the house. His dad turned to his neighbor and said ever so proudly, "That's my little Johnny, he had SEX in school today! What a kid!" Next day little Johnny's dad was back at the fence again talking to the next door neighbor as the bus pulled up again. As little Johnny was getting off the bus, his dad turned to the neighbor and said "There's my little Johnny, what a boy! Watch this, I'll ask him if he had SEX in school again today!" As little Johnny walked by on his way into the house his dad called out to him "Hey little Johnny, did you have SEX in school again today?" "Oh no dad, my butt's still sore from yesterday!"
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has 69.92 % from 209 votes. More jokes about: kids, little Johnny, school, sex
Little Johnny was always late for school. When asked why he said he had to eat his popsicle. Without thinking the teacher told him to eat half his popsicle and save the other half in his pocket. Next day Johnny was on time. The teacher had history class. "What are the people in Asia called", she asked a student. "Asians", said the student. "What are the people in Africa called". "Africans" said the student. Then she asked Johnny, "What are the people in Europe called", but Johnny didn't know so the girl behind him whispered, "Euro pean." To that Johnny said, "No I'm not, that's just my popsicle."
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has 49.41 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, food, little Johnny, school, teacher
A student called her best friend and said that she had some great news. “The teacher told me that we had to do a test today in rain or shine,” she told her. “Why is that great,” her friend asked. “It’s snowing today!”
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: school
Little Johnny came home from school one day slightly confused. His mother was Jewish and his father was Hispanic. So Johnny says, "Mum, am I more Jewish or more Hispanic?" "What does it really matter? You’ll just have to ask your father", his mother tells him. So Johnny’s father gets home from work and Johnny asks the same question, "Dad, am I more Jewish or more Hispanic?" "What kind of a question is that, does it really matter? Why do you want to know if you’re more Jewish or more Hispanic?" asks his dad. "Well, it’s like this dad. Tommy down the street wants to sell his bicycle for $50, I don’t know whether to talk him down to $25, or wait till dark and steel the fucking thing!"
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has 75.20 % from 628 votes. More jokes about: jewish, little Johnny, money, school