Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once?
A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.
Patient: "Are you sure that you can do this operation safely?"
Doctor: "That is what I want to find out myself."
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A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world.
After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.
Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart.
He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple.
The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
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What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
None!
They both hang from trees.
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Hitler is daddy!
Hump me!
Fuck me!
Daddy better gas them Jews.
My gas chambers love the smoke.
G-g-gas the Jews.
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My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
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A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home.
In the den was a stuffed lion.
The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?”
The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.”
“What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter.
“My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
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"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?"
"Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
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Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife?
When she spread her legs he saw bush.
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How are babies and the elderly alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
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