Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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Similar jokes
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What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday?
He ate himself.
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Q: What's faster than the speed of light?
A: A jew passing Germany.
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A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill.
He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.
The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.
“This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!”
“Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?”
“Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.”
“Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully.
The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick.
No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred?
On the fingers!
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I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me.
I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
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My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday.
So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.
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Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
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If you want to feed an injured woodpecker, take it by the tail and hit it to the tree.
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Q: What do you call an afghan virgin
A: Never bin laid on.
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