Joke #2730

Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was The Wall.
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Two hunters are out in the wood when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator:"My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter seys,"Ok, now what?"
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These two guys are riding in a convertible down a road in the desert, the road runs alongside a railroad as they are driving, as they are driving a train goes past, on the train a guy is on the train, clutching his stomach and grunting, his buddy leans over, and asks him, "What the hell is wrong with you?" The guy replies, "I gotta shit real bad, and I can't reach the bathroom in time!" His buddy tells him "Hang your ass out the window, and let it fly." The guy hangs his ass out the window and the shi t flies back and hits the convertible. The guys in the convertible say "Damn, that guy on the train spit tobacco on us!" The guy asks his friend "Hey, pull over when the train stops and we'll find this guy and kick his ass". After he finishes talking the guy driving the car slows down. His friend says "Why are you slowing down, don't you wanna beat this guy up." His friend says "No!" The other guy says "Why". His friend says, "Number one, that is some of the stinkiest tobacco I've ever smelled, and number two, did you see the jaws on that son of a bitch!"
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More jokes about: black humor, driving, friendship, travel, vulgar
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: Because you can see right through them!
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Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.
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Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
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What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings.
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What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals? A bus load of babies on fire.
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Q: Did you hear her eyes were blue? A: Yeah, one blew this way, one blew that way...
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How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
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