Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A cherry float.
Q: Where did OP go in the explosion? A: Everywhere.
Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking. Looking at the beginning of course, he sees a coffin behind a gentleman with a little dog followed by the crowd. Approaching the owner and he asks him: "What happened here, man?" "Pff, my mother-in-law died," he said. "Hush how sad eh… And, if allowed, how?" "My dog bit her…" "You don't tell me! Could you lend him to me just for tonight?" "Get in line!"
What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
What's brown and gurgles? A baby in a casserole.
How do the fairy-tales of the whites and the blacks differ? The stories of whites start: Once upon a time... The stories of blacks start: Yo, man, you won't believe what a f**k has happened to me...
How did they know that the driver had dandruff? They found his head and shoulders in the glove box.
Q: How is spinach like anal sex? A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!