Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Why did the nigger cross the road? Who the fuck cares, why is he out of the cotton field?
Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
A Jew, a German and an American walked into a small room. The Jew never came out.
If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
I just ended a long-term relationship today. I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.
Old man: "Can you give me an erection?" Faith Healer: "I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer. But, I'm sorry I cannot raise the 'dead'."
"Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?" "He was sacked for making a grave mistake."
How many dead babies does it take to change a tire? Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.
Q: What do you do when you see a black man with half a face? A: Stop laughing and reload.