Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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The judge asks the murderer:
Why did you kill that old lady?
For money..
But you got only 20 cents
Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
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Q: What did Hitler get for his birthday?
A: An easy bake oven and a GI-Jew.
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One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow.
He said he can't walk.
I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
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Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Because they're hand made.
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Q: What is height of Suicide?
A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
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What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common?
The Hanger.
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"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?"
"Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
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