Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’?
A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
Vote:
Q: What do you do when you see a black man with half a face?
A: Stop laughing and reload.
Vote:
Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler?
A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.
"My parachute did not work."
Said no one ever.
Vote:
Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink?
A: Concentrated jews.
What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common?
The Hanger.
Vote:
A golfer walks into the clubhouse of the local country club.
He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy.
The golf pro informs him that the country club is running a promotion and if he tries out one of their experimental robot caddies, he can golf for free.
The golfer agrees and takes out the robot.
While on the golf course the robot caddy tells the golfer the wind speed, distance, even how hard to hit which club. He has the best game of his life.
The next time the golfer goes to the country club, he tells the golf pro that he wants to do 18 holes and that he wants to get one of the robot caddies.
He informs the golfer that they don't have the robot caddies anymore.
The golfer, all upset, tells him how great they were and asks him what happened.
The golf pro tells him that members were complaining that the sun would reflect of their metallic material and into their eyes.
The golfer asks him why they didn't just paint the robots black?
The golf pro said that they did paint them into black robot caddies, but the next day, 3 of them didn't show up and the other 3 robbed the pro shop.
Vote:
My friend's father died last night so I asked him "What was the cause of his father's death?"
He said, "A bus passed over his finger!"
I laughed and told him: "It is not a suitable cause."
My friend said: "When the bus crashed, his finger was on his nose!"
Vote:
Joke has 79.94 % from 345 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, friendship, travel
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
Vote: