Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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Similar jokes
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Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics?
A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
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Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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What's pink and spits?
A baby in a frying pan.
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It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
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Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.
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I just ended a long-term relationship today.
I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.
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What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common?
The Hanger.
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Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"
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Q: What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender?
A: I didn't catch it, I was too busy masturbating.
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I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped.
Saved myself a fiver.
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