Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history?
Hitler.
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A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman:
"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
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Joke has 81.86 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, death, old people
The cannibals on the island Borneo have caught and after that have grilled one gypsy boy on a turnspit.
They had to turn him really quickly above the burning fire because at a slower speed of rotation he managed to steal the potatoes from the live coal.
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I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me.
I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
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Q: What do you call a flying Jew?
A: Ashes.
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What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars.
The last one was called the Hindenburg.
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A ship goes out to sea and crashes.
6 people (1 woman and 5 men) survive and use a safety raft to float to this deserted island.
Well, after spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely and sexually deprived.
So they come to this agreement.
All of the men will marry the one woman for a week.
So the first man has her for one week, the second man has her for the second week, and so on.
Everyone will now be getting sex and they all agree to it.
This goes on for five years and everyone is happy.
Each man gets sex every fifth week and the woman gets to have sex whenever she wants with a different man every week.
Well, a few weeks into the fifth year, the woman dies.
The first week is pretty bad, the second week is still pretty bad, the third week is getting worse, the fourth week things are just bad, real bad, and the fifth week is just awful.
It’s getting so very bad that on the sixth week they buried her.
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What's red and dances all around?
A baby on a barbecue
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Why do orphans like playing tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
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