Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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Similar jokes
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What has more brains than a dead baby?
The wall behind it.
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What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
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Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
A: There are twenty of them.
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Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children.
You put groceries in the other.
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An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The guy was your doctor..."
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Late in the night he regained consciousness.
He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.
He realized he'd obviously been in a serious accident.
She gave him a deep look straight into the eyes, and he heard her slowly say, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your tits, then?"
That, my friends, is a positive attitude!
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Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean?
A: An oil spill
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A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
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Q: What was Hitler's favorite toy as a kid?
A: An Easy-Bake Oven.
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