Joke #5119

What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!

On the day of my big job interview I woke up late. Frantically I threw on a suit. "OH NO!" I thought. "MY TIE! My Dad was out of town and wasn't there to help me, and for the life of me, I did not know how to tie a tie!" I grabbed a tie and ran out the door. "Excuse me sir," I said to the crossing guard, "I have an important job interview, can you please help me make this tie?!" "Sure," said the guard, "just lie down on this bench." Well if someone was going to help me I wasn't going to ask any questions. After he finished and the tie looked good I just had to ask why I had to lie down. "Well in my previous job I learned how to tie ties on other people when they were lying down." he replied. "What was your previous job?" I asked incredulously. "I ran a morgue." was the reply.

While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out. "Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."

I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.

What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea? A good start.

Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne? A: It's when the blind try to read your face.

Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex? A: Lefty.

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender!

Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies? A: Taking them out with pitchforks.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.

Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree. He's been hanging there for quite a while.