What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
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KFC in Asia?
Korean fried cat.
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Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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First cannibal: "Come and have dinner in our but tonight."
Second cannibal: "What are you having?"
First cannibal: "Hard-boiled legs."
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"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor."
"But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
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"My parachute did not work."
Said no one ever.
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Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
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If you want to feed an injured woodpecker, take it by the tail and hit it to the tree.
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Knock Knock
Whose there?
9/11
9/11 who?
I thought you said you would never forget.
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There were four people on a plane.
One of them, the Pilot.
The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy.
The plane was about to crash and the only option for survival was to jump!
But there were only three parachutes.
The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute."
And he jumped off.
Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!"
And he jumps.
The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man.
The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway."
The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"
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Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing?
A: He didn't have any arms.
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