Joke #5119

What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
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What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering "Chun Yu Yan" over and over – and then died. I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
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I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
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"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor." "But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
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A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart. Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple. The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
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Q: Where do one-legged people eat? A: IHOP.
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Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team? A: The New York Jets.
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How long does it take a black lady to shit? About 9 months.
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It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
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What do you call a baby on a stick? A Kebabie.
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